Somehow I still have the capacity for astonishment when it comes to the administration of Bob Jones University. I took an internet break for the past several days because, at long last, I have to finally admit that I am angry. Actually, I rode the emotional rollercoaster the past two weeks, immense sadness, infuriation, horrification and embarrassment, shame, and deep, heart-breaking grief. Writing my Sunday post, I kept finding myself sandwiching the gospel between my layers of heart-break and anger (short version: the master was incredibly generous, the servant who feared and refused to try had a totally messed up view of the master’s character, God wants us to live fully and fearlessly, sharing our gifts with the world around us without reservation or trepidation. Now go out in peace into the world to love and serve God!). Working on a paper for grad school, I kept interrupting my own train of thought with all of my feelings. While listening to the radio, the Paterno story came on and all I could think is that while Penn State is, belatedly, cleaning house, BJU is barricading their doors and ramping up support for their man.
So, the last thing I really needed in my life this weekend was for the National Journal to release their most recent interview with (Dr) Bob Jones, III. You can read it for yourself, if you are so inclined.
I am ashamed.
I am ashamed that I attended Bob Jones University. This has never been the case. I have been at times frustrated and hurt by the school, but through the years have remained grateful for my education and experiences. Today, I am ashamed of my affiliation with that institution.
I am ashamed that as a student, I ignored the racism promulgated by the administration. Unfortunately, it was easy for me to ignore. I only knew three black people at school, two African American men and one woman from the Bahamas. It was convenient to dismiss remarks in chapel, offensive policies (by the time I was there, interracial dating was allowed—with a parent’s written consent! <–that is not progress), and terrible doctrine (Blacks are the cursed descendants of Ham!), because it did not affect me personally. My lack of action, my unwillingness to call out the offense, is my shame. I am sorry.
I am ashamed that as a student I sat under the teachings of men who reviled people of other Christian denominations, other religions, and those who did not align with conservative Republicans politically. The kind of hatred and bitter speech preached from that pulpit encourages the continued fracturing of our country, neighbor against neighbor and brothers against sisters. The gospel of Christ is the message of reconciliation, of healing hurts, binding wounds, and repairing broken relationships. My implicit agreement (through silence) with these teachings makes me guilty. I am sorry.
I am ashamed that as a gay person, I attended an institution that encourages hate against those of differing sexual orientations. At BJU, I was taught that homosexuality is not simply wrong but that gays should be castrated and killed. I am sorry for my silence.
I am ashamed that as a woman, I tacitly submitted to the misogynistic teachings of this university. I am ashamed of the treatment of women and children at the hands of these “men of God.” I am ashamed that we are quick to cover the sins of the powerful (men) and quicker to judge the, presumed, failings of the victims, those abused and injured, sexually, emotionally, and physically. I am sorry—my silence enabled these abuses to continue.
The King James Version of the Holy Scriptures asks in 1 Peter 2:20 “For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently?” Bob Jones University and similar and affiliated churches and individuals are promoting the idea that the dissent of alumni and the voice of the media in exposing corruption are the acts of evil. They are saying that they are suffering patiently for the cause of Christ.
The cause of Christ is the redemption of the world. The cause of Christ is the feeding of the hungry, the care of the poor, the orphans, and the widows. The cause of Christ is sharing God’s all-encompassing, ever generous, over abundant love with everyone we meet. I wonder, in these actions and teachings, who sees the love of God? Is it the love of God to side with the oppressor? Is it the love of God to discipline the victim of sexual abuse? Is it the love of God to promote disunity, discord, and hatred in our country and communities?
I stayed. I was silent. I am culpable by association. Current students, faculty, staff, parents, I implore you to not make the same mistake. We are culpable both for those sins we commit and the righteous actions that we fail to take. God forgive us.
edit 11/18/11 to link to another apology: (if you have an apology, send me the link and I will post it!)
http://frenchizal.blogspot.com/2011/11/apologies.html
Thank you, Rachel, for this. You’ve said what a lot of us should have been saying for a long time.
Thank you! And thank you for having the courage to speak out as well!
Good post. Hope more BJU grads follow suit. I’m ashamed to have attended PCC (even though I didn’t graduate — thank God).
It is a shameful day when we finally realize all that we tacitly approved in our silence. Thank God for forgiveness and redemption!
Passive/unwitting participation is still participation as they say.
Very thoughtful post. It is also just as wrong to sit by and ignore the right thing when we ourselves aren’t the ones having to deal with it head on. We all do it everyday, afraid to affect the status quo or to deter from our original plans. You realize this for all of us, good post.
Thank you! I am grateful to learn this lesson–although it is a hard way to learn it. May we not forget. I might frame my diploma rather than burn it or return it–just so that the lesson remains alive in my life.
Yeah. Me too. Me too.
((((hugs)))) it is heartbreaking.
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Mea culpa.
Kyrie, eleison. Christe, eleison. Kyrie, eleison.
Amen.
I am a graduate as well and very deeply ashamed of that fact. I have also been feeling so many negative emotions this week as I’ve read more and more. I’m ashamed that it wasn’t until much later that I realized what my parents had immersed me in for over 25 years and decided to make a hasty getaway from the IFB organization. I’m ashamed that while I wasn’t happy at BJU, I was too naive or too stupid to actually understand why and LEAVE. I’m embarrassed to have their name on my resume.
I don’t know you, but found your blog through a few links. I’m currently gathering my own courage to write something similar. Thank you for saying this.
Thank you. Feel free to link to what you write, when you write it, if you would like. I hope that the continued repentance of the alumni will bring the administration to it’s knees. God, have mercy.